PAYLOAD: LINCOLN MARK LT, SUCKING SHIT

SO me and John wilkes booth were cruising in his lincoln mark lt on a fine Sunday afternoon to catch an opera matinee when John was like, "Let's see where I factor in with the payload challenge," and I was like, "shit's over homeboy truck month was last month" but he was allfuckin like "FUCK YOU" and pointed his revolver at me and I was like "Is this really happening" and he's all "this really means a lot to me" so I said whatever bro lets fucking start shovelling this grow room into your truck and JWB is all smiley and shit and then I knew he was joking because it was a ceramic revolver bong and I took a massive rip and jumped out the door. Judging by the marijuana loaded into the bed, I'd say the Lincoln clocked in at around 1865 lbs that motherfucker making me ruin my sunday oh well at least the weed we smoked was fucking CHOICE and now I am going to assasssinate the assassin fucking idiot

American Heroes pt. II

Dude last weekend me and Pharoh Ramses (the blunted) were chillin at the gangsta bbq when Pharoh, His Dankness, reaches into his sarcophogus and pulls out the phattest papyrus blunt from 420 BC (before criminalization). Homeboy lights that shit up with his eternally flaming waterproof matches and passes that shit to a mummy, then DJ Drama, and then fucking narc-ass Super Mario, who does not know how to chill, so the mummy and Pharoh Ramses stick their sick-ass pitbulls on his guido ass, and then the bbq resumes, with the choicest herbal rubs on rack of lamb, corn on the fucking cob, 69 alarm chili, way more bluntz, and lemonade it was one of the best days of my life